You know how people tell you there are movies that “you just have to see”?

This is one of those.

To be honest, I’ll tell you right off the bat that you’re going to get to the end of it and wonder just what the fuck you were watching for the last hour and a half. You may hate it utterly, you may just be totally mystified, but you’re definitely going to agree that this is one of the weirdest, low-budget sci-fi drama movies you’re ever likely to see in your life.

The plot of the movie goes something like this: It’s the future, and all single adults are required by law to have a partner. It doesn’t matter if you’re gay or straight, you’re just not allowed to be single.

Anyone who is single (and that includes people who end up divorced or widowed) has to report, by law, to these love hotels where they either find a match or — if they run out of time — get changed into an animal.

The male lead in this movie wants to be a lobster. His brother is a dog. There’s a psycho bitch woman who hunts the people who have run out of time (if you run out of time, you get to run off into the forest, where you usually get caught again and anesthetized and then turned into an animal in ‘the room’), a crazy cult of people who forbid themselves from having romantic encounters (so the rebel faction to the fascist lot in the hotel) and it’s all rather slow and twee and incredibly weird. Like a clockwork orange, but perhaps less violence.

You need to watch it just because it’s a massive head-trip. Utterly bizarre.

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