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So Utah, that state well known for two things, porn and mormons (debatably mormons cause porn; every time there’s a mormon conference somewhere, overall purchase and consumption of porn in that state noticeably rises) has got it’s first K9 officer specialized in – wait for it – detecting porn.

Yep, the dog’s name is URL – pronounced Earl.

I’m just… not entirely clear how it’s supposed to work. Can he sniff the digital packet headers and decode the video streams direct into smellovision? Does he need an update every time a new porn codec comes out?

Apparently he sniffs out SD cards, hard drives, phones, tablets and USB sticks. I could use one of those porn hounds in the morning when I have to get to work and can’t remember where I stashed my phone which is now on mute because god dammit I don’t need yet another text message at 3am…

Assuming, you know, it can also find electronics without porn on it. Not that I have any porn.

What is porn, in fact? It sounds like a, uh, strange breakfast cereal. Never heard of it. Yeah.

Url the pornhound, everybody. Url the pornhound.

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